birthdays in adulthood!

My birthday is 11 days away and strangely, this year I am not as excited about it as i used to be. may be the current struggle to get an employment is overshadowing it or may be i have finally become a conventional adult, full of worries for future and present. dislike both.

for the past so many years now, usually after my mom's birthday in first week of may, i start the preparations to welcome my birthday. it is a VERY big day for me (every year!) and no kidding but i do feel like a princess! it is my day and i do everything my way!

i do not prefer the drink-and-party style of celebrating the birthday. i like to spend time with my select group of people (two important ones have been missing for the past two years now though!). i like it this way because it saves my time and effort to make one comfortable with the other or even with myself. and this may sound a bit arrogant but i cannot entertain, even in my fabulously happy mood, people i am not really fond of. it can get ugly because my discomfort is easily apparent.

so, almost a month in advance i start writing out my guest lists and plan activities - breakfast, lunch, dinner. and since it is usually a small gathering of really close people, i am allowed to demand gifts!

and a new birthday dress is a must! i love shopping for it!

and so this is how it usually goes but this year, i have no guest lists and no plans, no material gift demands - :( - except 'just pray that i get a job!'

guess, this is what 'growing up' is all about!