Have you ever tried to match the teeth of two identical
combs? Like this?
You would expect every tooth of one comb to align perfectly—head to
head—and form a straight line with its counterpart on the other. But you’d
be lucky to have even one like that.
It is probably the usage that bends and deforms the teeth.
Some of them even look thinner than the others. And then there also a few missing
ones.
She often did this as a kid sitting on her mother’s dressing table. She imagined herself to be one of the combs and squeezed the
rest of the world in the other. She put it on the table and tried to match
them. She defined two perfectly aligned teeth as a harmonious, meant-to-be
relationship, full of unconditional love and acceptance. She would sometimes cheat and
bend some teeth of the comb representing her. It was fair to bend and modify
herself, she'd reason. After all, she only wanted to love everyone and be loved by everyone.
But now, at 22, she had stopped the modifications. She
resolved to let the comb be itself. And let her be herself. In school and college,
her self-edits and self-alterations were rampant. Sometimes to remain with the
coolest gang in school; sometimes to attract the most handsome boyfriend;
sometimes to stand apart from her boring cousins; and sometimes to keep her
parents happy. Most of them did not make it with her to 22.
It was almost 11:00 pm. She had had her night shower and was
sitting at her dressing table combing her long black hair. Looking at herself
in the mirror. Her eyebrows arched in pride. Pretty and successful—she was
happy with her 22-year old self. Most proud of not losing herself to the
madness of the world. She knew who she was and was actively carving out what
she would be.
She put her comb on the table and once again, moved it towards this other comb lying alongside. Only two teeth matched. A content
smile flashed across her face.
She knew them both. One was her mother. The
other her best friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment