Coming back here to lighten myself after a long time, probably two months now. I guess this is how I would feel when I next come to India. I miss home!
The first three weeks here were a dream - happiness and love all day, everyday and I was in Chicago then and soon after that, I shifted to where I should belong - Bloomington, Indiana.
It isn't anything like I had imagined. It is pretty but the small town lacks the vigour and excitement of a city and I am such a city-person. Weird thing this life is, I always thought myself to be a country person, the quite hinterlands always charmed me but then looks like I am not made for that sort of life. Coming back to the first sentence, I don't remember what I had imagined after all and what expectations I had. Well, no one told it will be easy after all. So, guess I really can't complain but I do!
I can feel and sort of realize that a major shift in my priorities have happened sometime now. It messes me up to think of it sometimes but then ignoring it wouldn't be a wise thing to do too. Struggling to find that balance. It is hard.
And yes, miss home like crazy. I dreamt of Delhi last night! How I love that city!
I've made a very good friend here from the Netherlands. Always with a patient ear and a warm heart. Thank God for her and then I of course, have good "Indian friends" too and Oh! yes they are so important to keep sane.
But there is something amiss. I guess there always is and especially with me, I don't really understand why this feeling is so frequent. Happiness looks tough sometimes.
I am learning so much about myself and about others in my life at this point. It is a crazy realization of a million important things all at once! I fear it will kill me someday soon though!
I know I am being discreet about many things here and I wish I could just write down every single word that comes to my mind the first time but then not being instinctive is a part of my learning here.
Introspection happening BIG TIME. Crying happening BIG TIME. Realization (of a million things all together!) happening BIG TIME. Nostalgia happening BIG TIME. Hope happening BIG TIME.
Life is....
(I don't know anything anymore about it. Trying to figure out.)
The first three weeks here were a dream - happiness and love all day, everyday and I was in Chicago then and soon after that, I shifted to where I should belong - Bloomington, Indiana.
It isn't anything like I had imagined. It is pretty but the small town lacks the vigour and excitement of a city and I am such a city-person. Weird thing this life is, I always thought myself to be a country person, the quite hinterlands always charmed me but then looks like I am not made for that sort of life. Coming back to the first sentence, I don't remember what I had imagined after all and what expectations I had. Well, no one told it will be easy after all. So, guess I really can't complain but I do!
I can feel and sort of realize that a major shift in my priorities have happened sometime now. It messes me up to think of it sometimes but then ignoring it wouldn't be a wise thing to do too. Struggling to find that balance. It is hard.
And yes, miss home like crazy. I dreamt of Delhi last night! How I love that city!
I've made a very good friend here from the Netherlands. Always with a patient ear and a warm heart. Thank God for her and then I of course, have good "Indian friends" too and Oh! yes they are so important to keep sane.
But there is something amiss. I guess there always is and especially with me, I don't really understand why this feeling is so frequent. Happiness looks tough sometimes.
I am learning so much about myself and about others in my life at this point. It is a crazy realization of a million important things all at once! I fear it will kill me someday soon though!
I know I am being discreet about many things here and I wish I could just write down every single word that comes to my mind the first time but then not being instinctive is a part of my learning here.
Introspection happening BIG TIME. Crying happening BIG TIME. Realization (of a million things all together!) happening BIG TIME. Nostalgia happening BIG TIME. Hope happening BIG TIME.
Life is....
(I don't know anything anymore about it. Trying to figure out.)
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